Wow....a week's worth of catch up time

Ok....this last week got away from me completely.  It was full of high school band concerts, high school football games, horse races, working from Saturday night 11:00pm - Sunday morning 6:15am, clothes shopping for Casey (to help him "get a girlfriend"), hockey game, and finally.....Zach, Emma and Trinity coming back to live on the mainland from Hawaii.....I can't wait.

Notice there is no mention of Christmas shopping or candle/soap making.  Is Christmas really next week?...Yikes.  I will put on my Scarlett O'Hara hat and say "I will think about that tomorrow".....wait...I am running out of tomorrows.

Is everyone else ready?  Casey leaves on Saturday to go to his dad's for two weeks.  If I don't put up the tree with him tomorrow night....it may just not go up.  I know, I know, it needs to go up.  I will eventually get it put up.  Christmas is kind of scattered for us.  Jacob may be over in the wee hours of VERY early Christmas morning or not...I won't have Christmas with Casey until Jan. 1 when he comes back.  Zach, Emma and Trinity will kind of be all over the place until after the first week of January so I won't send their stuff til they move into their new apt.  Just crazy this year.

Things are feeling a little out of control right now.  I need to stop and remember to breathe (and of course I always need more sleep).  Do you all forget to breathe sometimes too?  If I stop and observe my own body periodically, I find my shoulders are pulled up to my ears and I am holding my breath.  At least I notice that now and can then release my shoulders and take a couple of deep breaths.   I thank yoga for that learned awareness.  Another funny thing I noticed through yoga is that my right leg is completely rotated inward.  Weird I never noticed that before.  I knew I had to wear corrective shoes when I was young but no one has ever mentioned that I had that little defect - or my own special uniqueness.

Hopefully, work should be a little less hectic the next two weeks (fingers crossed) and I can pull myself back together and get some things accomplished.  Make sure all of you take some "me" time during the holidays.  Whether it's a hot bath, a little meditation, quiet time with friends, watching the snow fall or whatever makes you happy...just take the time and do it.

Here is my store of pictures from the last week:

This is Casey's riding home outfit after his band concert.  Don't you love the basketball shorts and reeboks with the tux jacket, tux shirt, cummerbund, black socks and bow tie?  At least the shorts are formal black.  Cuts quite the figure, doesn't he?

Next are the pretty winning horses at the races.  Much to Jacob's chagrin, I cashed a winning $2 show ticket on all eight races we were there for.  I think my new occupation should be "horse race whisperer".  These are a couple of my winners coming into the winners circle.  Each one of them looked me in the eye in the paddock and told me they would win for me.  Thank goodness I was listening.  :-)

Last but not least, here is my view from the hockey game last night.  I have never sat so close at hockey.  Thanks to my very sweet friend Kellie for sharing her tickets with us (even if she is a Marlins fan).

And for all you frozen northerners....here is a south Floridian at Hockey dressed like Nanook of the North.  Way too funny (although it was really cold in there).

I will try and catch up on my Reverb10 prompts tomorrow and Saturday. 

Til then.....Kathi

Reverb10 Daily prompts #7 & #8

Here are my blogging prompts from www.reverb10.com for yesterday and today:

Prompt #7 - Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

This year I have discovered a wonderful community of special women through www.meetup.com .  This is a website that allows you to search for meetings, classes, etc that match your interests and the area you live in.  I am so happy to have my new circle of girlfriends.  They really mean a lot to me.  If you are feeling lonely, or isolated or interested in learning something new....check out this website.

Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

This is an incredibly tough topic.  Maybe because this is what I am searching to find out.  The things that I could easily name that make me different are not necessarily things that I like about myself...but let me give this a shot.

- I have always been pretty brave...not afraid to go out and meet new challenges.
- I can laugh hysterically at the drop of a hat.
- When I love something, I am crazy passionate about it (like the NY Mets)
- I love to explore topics off the beaten path (right now...I am all about meta-physics)

How would you guys answer this about yourself....not so easy right??

Catching up on Reverb 10 manifestations

Time to play a little catch up.  Since I did not write at all this weekend....I will write about assignments 4, 5, and 6.

#4 - Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

 You know....one of the reasons I started this blog is because I think I lost my sense of wonder this year.  I forgot to "stop and smell the roses" or maybe I didn't forget, it just wasn't a priority.  Obviously, I will need to work on this for 2011.  Living near the ocean should make this easy as just standing on the shore watching the power of the water gives you a sense of wonder of where did the water come from...where is it going....what is it doing?

#5 - Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

This is a biggie for me this year.  I have let go of my fear of exposure and failure.  That's been huge and freeing.  I love these quotes from Anais Nin and Marianne Williamson.....I think they sum up the past couple of months for me.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

          Marianne Williamson

#6 - Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)  

I used my new sewing machine to make the pillows I showed in a previous post.  I am trying to get busy with making some incense, candles and soap.  I have everything I need...but again with the procrastination of taking the first step.  What if it doesn't work?  What if they smell terrible?  What if...what if...what if....

I have promised myself that tomorrow night I will make the final decision on the scent(s) that I will use and get started with the incense first.  I will let you know how that goes.... 

Manifesting Day 3

Here is my writing assignment for Day 3 from Reverb 10.

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

This was kind of an easy one for me.  The happiest 2 1/2 weeks of 2010 for me were at the end of June when I was so lucky to have my year old granddaughter, Trinity, here in South Florida with me.  Her parents were on a trip to Ecuador and Grandma got Trinity all to herself!  Of course, I did have to share her with her Uncle Jacob and Uncle Casey.

During this time my life was filled with the softness of a baby girl's hair....the wonderful smell of a baby getting out of the bath....her little voice babbling nonsense....lots of pink clothes and big blue eyes....and so much laughter.

At the pool....can you believe those eyes??

Uncle Casey thought we should start her tennis career as soon as possible
 

This was taken when we stopped on the way back to the Atlanta airport where we were meeting up with her parents.  She wasn't too sure about the toy alligators on the floor.  She also wasn't very happy that Grandma had put her shoes on the wrong feet...oops.

 Uncle Casey got his first exposure to handling small children.  He got to babysit during the day while I was at work.  He did a great job and taught her lots of good things because he didn't want to have to do them for her.  She learned to feed herself with her spoon and to be able to drink out of her sippy cup by herself.

Uncle Casey and Trinity watching TV

 We also had a great time when Uncle Jacob came to visit.  He was lucky enough to be in Hawaii when she was born but hadn't seen her since then. 

Uncle Jacob and Trinity reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear

On the way back to Atlanta, we decided to make a pit stop at the Atlanta Braves vs. Washington Nationals baseball game.  Jacob, Casey and I are fanatical baseball fans (of the NY Mets) and decided we wanted to take Trinity to her first baseball game.  I can still hear her squealing when the crowd was cheering and trying to do the "Tomahawk Chop" with the Braves fans.  I remember the smell of the french fries we fed her and all the baseball sounds and smells of the stadium.  I'm so glad we got to share that with her.  While she won't really remember it, we will never forget it.

Life as a grandma....the best ever.

Reverb 10 - day 2

The writing assignment for day 2 - Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)


Definitely watching way too much TV. Can I eliminate it? Ummmmm....well.....cold turkey?? Probably not. Could I work on eliminating some of the crap that I watch? Maybe. Could I at least do something productive while I have the TV on? Probably.

Anything that calls my tv watching habits into the conversation makes me uncomfortable. It is my Achilles heel. I know it....I know it....I know it. At least with a DVR now, I can watch things more quickly :-). That's better...right?

Ok. Another goal to add to my 2011 list. This one could be painful.

Kathi

Daily Manifesting through Reverb 10

I am participating in December through a website Reverb10 to blog using a creative prompt that is provided daily.  It started yesterday so I will have to catch up.

The prompt for December 1 is:
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Wow...choosing one word to describe the year 2010 for me is an interesting challenge.  I think my word would be INTROSPECTION.

I chose this word because for me 2010 has been a year of trying to discover who I am by examining where I am, what I am doing, where I want to be, what I want to be doing and how do I get there.  I am still at the beginning stages but I am at least making some progress. 

One year from now....I would love my 2011 word to be VIBRANT.  I want my year to be full of sparkle, vitality, love, sharing, success and abundance!!  Now....I just have to move forward to make this word a reality.

What are your words?

Kathi

Struggling Vegan.....

Well...I survived the Thanksgiving weekend...however, I have been feeling like I am moving through molasses this week.  I don't know where all my energy went.  Maybe it's just the thought of all the stuff I need to do to get ready for Christmas now and all the stuff on my plate for 2011.  I know...I know...one day at a time.....

I did get one thing done on my list over Thanksgiving.  I painted my entry way a yummy mulberry color.  I think my son Casey was horrified when he saw the color....but I like it.  Below is a picture.  I should have taken a before picture of the horrible, ugly, off-white/dirty white standard apartment color it was.  You will also notice that I now need to paint the trim due to having a 10 year old helping me paint.  I was glad to have her help though and I think she enjoyed it too.

I also thought I would include some pics of my two cats relaxing while I was working from home yesterday.  It makes me want to nap too.

Sadie

Maris

Now on to today's topic....

In February of this year, I decided to change to a vegan lifestyle.  This means no animal products of any kind.  Many who know me would laugh at this because they know I don't like very many vegetables.  However, I have been about 80% successful.  I have my moments of weakness (especially when I am near Chik-Fil-A or pizza).  I also have my moments of laziness.  Lately, I have been really terrible...not so much eating animal products but living as a junkfood vegan.  I have had a diet lately of food with little to no nutrition...hence the need for a nap....and I am having trouble snapping back out of it.

The funny thing is that I am kind of caught in a weird place now.  I have been thinking lately that I would lighten up on my food choices but after having become aware of where our meat supply is coming from and how the animals are treated and slaughtered....I don't want to go back to that.  It makes me sick just thinking of it.  Even when I do lapse, it makes me sick. I'm not sure where to go now.  I guess I really just need to get my mind/heart back to a healthy place so I start feeling better again.  Any thoughts on this?  Any one else have comments/issues with their food lifestyles?  Tonight I think I will make my most favorite food I have discovered since becoming vegan....black bean burgers!!  Maybe this will help me feel better and get me back on track....I really LOVE them.  I will post pics and a recipe in my next post.

Here's to living a healthy lifestyle....

Til next time...Kathi

Giving Thanks.....

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!

I was lucky to have two of my sons, Casey and Jacob and two of Jacob's friends from work, Victor and Andre, join me for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday.  We had to celebrate on Wednesday due to work schedules.  I got up and put the turkey in around 6:45am because we had to eat around 1:00pm so Victor could get to work.  We had lots of good food and the guys brought pies from work that were delicious.  After we ate and Victor left, Jacob, Casey, Andre and I played a card/board game called Sequence for the rest of the afternoon.  After the that Jacob and Andre took naps....I should have too.  That was Thanksgiving day in a nut shell.  Thursday, I did some cleaning, laundry and reading.  Today I picked up Sierra (my little sister from Big Brothers/Big Sisters) and we started painting my entry way - pics to come later.  What did you guys do?

  (That turkey was a work of art if I say so myself)

As many of you know, I have been a struggling vegan for almost a year now....but all bets were off for Thanksgiving.  I will discuss my journey in the vegan world in a future blog.

I thought I should make a list of things I give thanks for to celebrate the season.....

1.  I am thankful for my three sons who give me a reason to breathe everyday.
2.  I am thankful for my beautiful granddaughter Trinity and her incredible mother, Emma.
3.  I am thankful for my mother who lives her life to take care of everyone around her.
4.  I am thankful for my father who has filled my life with laughter and adventure.
5.  I am thankful for my stepmother who has always made my brother and I feel like we were her own children.
6.  I am thankful my dog and two cats (most of the time :-) )
7.  I am thankful for the happy, happy memories I have of my grandmother on my mom's side and all of my dad's relatives that I was lucky enough to have in my life before they passed on.
8.  I am thankful for all the good friends I have had throughout my life.
9.  I am thankful for the incredible new friends I have made here in South Florida.
10.  I am thankful for the health of myself, my friends and my family!!

What is on your list?

Enjoy the rest of the weekend....next post coming on Sunday.

Til then....Kathi

 

Self Sabotage....

Hi Everyone,

Have you ever wondered why we do things that are not in our best interest and then sometimes do them again and again and again?  What keeps us from changing our behavior after we discover that it is not a good choice?  Is it lack of self worth?  Is it fear of failure?  Is it a lack of discipline?

I will give you a couple examples of my own self-sabotaging behavior. Spending money when I know I should be saving.  Sitting on the couch instead of doing 15-20 minutes of yoga (which I love doing by the way).

You can see that some of the behaviors that need to be changed are things that you dread doing.  The ones that concern me more....are the ones that stop you from doing things you love to do.  Those are much more worrisome to me and probably a signal that you need a big change in your life......hence my blog......

Here are a couple of things I have tried that have begun to help me break some of these cycles.
1,  Make a list of things to do each month, week and day.  About two years ago I switched from Franklin-Covey to Planner Pad.  The switch happened on the recommendation from Kimberly Wilson.  Use this link to see a wonderful video on using a planner pad - Planner Pad video.  I like it because it has the whole year in it where I could only carry 3 months at a time in my Franklin-Covey.  Everyone has their own personal likes and dislikes.

2.  Make sure you have at least one fun thing on the list each day.

3.  Become happier!!  I have found that since I started blogging, going to Meetups that interest me, meeting lots of new, fun friends, and just letting my new found creativity run wild, I have followed through with positive things in my life!!

Last year when I got my 2010 Planner Pad, I decided to take a stab at decorating it as talked about in the video.  Can I tell you how painful that was for me since I was sure I couldn't cut and paste?  I finished it and then spent two weeks wanting to take it back off....hiding it under things on my desk at work so no one would see it....having so much anxiety over it....until a friend of mine saw it and said how pretty it looked.  Voila!!  I finally felt comfortable (or at least less anxious) letting others see it.  I have had a number of people comment on it and none of them were negative.  I just used three different kinds of paper to cover the plain black cover.  I really went out on a limb and started using colored pens to write in it.  Occasionally there is some rhyme or reason to the color coding...but sometimes not.  See the pictures below...

Now...I have my 2011 planner and am much happier with my decorating attempts.  I actually can not wait to start using this one.  First I covered the plain black cover with pretty pink floral paper.  I have a beautiful canyon picture to remind me to breathe and keep all my spaces open.  I also have a picture of a lotus flower, the ultimate symbol of spirituality and pureness to me.  Everyone always needs a picture of the Eiffel Tower to dream of sitting in a cafe in Paris drinking red wine and eating delicious bread (I've ever actually been there..but that's how I picture it and it makes me happy).  Last picture on the front is a beautiful monastery in Tibet. 

On the back, I have a big, beautiful picture of Avalokiteshvara, the buddha of compassion.

Doesn't this look like fun??

Anyone can do this.  Encourage your kids to decorate their spiral notebooks for school if allowed.  Teach them to express their own style.  It so inexpensive.  I used pictures from magazine and some decorative paper I got at JoAnn's Fabric and Craft Store.  It's almost always on sale.  Of course, you can always just collage pictures you cut out or draw to cover the plain cover.  So much fun.


I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving.  We will be celebrating on Wednesday due to the work schedules of Jacob and his friends that are joining us.  I will make sure to post pictures and recipes that I use.  Feel free to post any of your favs in the comments section.


Later...Kathi


Next Post....New Creative Projects

Getting Creative

Hi Everyone...sorry for the delay.  I wanted to post on my new sewing machine but thought I should probably use it first.  I kept putting it off even though I have had the material for my new pillows and pillow covers for months now (in anticipation of getting a new machine).  Last night I finally decided enough is enough and I got it all plugged in and threaded and got to work.  I was embarrassed that it only took me about 1 1/2 hours to cut out the material for 8 pillows and sew them.  I should have done it a long time ago.  I am also embarrassed that my real motivation was to make sure the machine actually worked before Amazon wouldn't take it back since I have had it for over a month now.

After months of trying to decide on a machine, I settled on the Brother CS6000i seen below.  It was very easy to set up and start using.  Now I need to go back and read the manual and learn how to really use it.

And....here are the new pillows...you can see I at least have a fan in my dog Waldo....or maybe he just wanted his picture in my blog.  They look a little saggy because I need to finish the bottom hem with some velcro so I can take them off/on to wash....since Waldo thinks they are for him.

Now on to bigger and better projects...who knows what might be next.  Any suggestions?

I also was busy yesterday making Chocolate Cinnamon cupcakes.  Another recipe from the lovely Angela at  my new favorite place Oh She Glows Cupcake Recipe  and Spiced Buttercream Frosting.  You have to scroll down past the pumpkin gingerbread recipe for the frosting. The pumpkin gingerbread recipe is also delicious!!

All in all it was a pretty productive weekend.  I also got my order put in for supplies to make soy candles, incense and soaps.  Will keep you up to date on how that all works.  Any suggestions on scents or scent mixtures you might like...let me know.  I am on the mad search to find a mixture of essential oils for migraines to help my darling Emma from her suffering.  I am also looking for a mixture to help my stepmother with the pain and swelling in her knee from a replacement surgery gone wrong.

I have avoided heavy topics this post since I had such a nice fun weekend.  The weather down here in south Florida has been spectacular.  This is why people live down here.  75-85 during the day...while others are shoveling snow.  Funny thing though, on Friday night at my son's marching band performance, it was 72 degrees.  I had layered to t-shirts and was wrapped up in a sweater with my tennis shoes on (I never wear anything but sandals, flip flops or open toed dress shoes) to keep my feet warm.  I was freezing.  My favorite band mom had on a winter coat, gloves, scarf and fur lined boots.  I wish I had a picture for all you northerners to laugh at....but darn it...we were cold.

Next post this week will be on Self Sabotage...stay tuned...

Til then...Kathi

Why I Am Not Creative...

Happy Sunday!!  I hope everyone has had a great weekend.  The weather has been great down here in South Florida at least during the day.  It has been a little chilly at night and I don't have shoes for chilly nights.

I wanted to talk today about the things we say to people (especially children) that you can never take back once you say them.  I'm horrified looking back at some of the careless things I have said to my sons over the years, usually out of frustration at myself.  Here is why I bring this up.....

When I was in kindergarten, yes kindergarten....I am 48 years old and I am talking about something said to me in kindergarten, I was able to read, write and do math at quite an advanced level.  I ended up skipping second grade a couple of years later.  My kindergarten teacher was apparently not impressed by this and instead of encouraging my abilities she called a conference with my parents and me.  The point of the conference was to make sure we all understood that I could not cut and paste and would probably never be able to.  REALLY??  I was in KINDERGARTEN and this teacher decided embarrass me and to destroy any chance I ever had to consider myself artistic.  WHY WAS THIS NECESSARY??  My mom made me cut and paste a picture when I got home to show the teacher that I definitely could do this....but it was already too late...the damage was done.

Since that day, I have avoided anyone or anything that might involve anything artistic because I couldn't face the shame again.  No arts and crafts for me.....

It has taken me 40+ years to decide that I can be artistic and that I can do arts and crafts if I want to.  It's still very awkward and I struggle to have the confidence to try....but I know I can do it.  I will post pics in the future of some of my attempts.

Ok...so I probably was not going to be the next Da Vinci anyway..but that is not the point.

Does anyone else have a story about something that was said to you that stopped you dead in your tracks from ever trying again?
Don't let anyone's opinion ever stop you.  If I can attempt arts and crafts...you can do whatever you want to.  I know you can.....

Now on to more fun topics......

I didn't get as much done this weekend as I hoped but it was still a nice weekend.  I made a nice pot of Lentil Soup in my crock pot today and some apple crisps.

Lentil Soup - Lots of good protein.

8 cups of  vegetable stock (or stock of your choice)
1 lb of dried lentils
2 bay leaves
Garlic to taste fresh or powder (I used about a tablespoon of garlic powder)
Onion diced (I used about a 2 tablespoons of dried onion)
1/2 tsp of cumin
1/2 tsp of red pepper flakes

I also added peas, carrots and corn.  You can add veggies of your choice.

Put it all in the crockpot and cook on high for 4-6 hours and you will have some hot, yummy soup.

I also made some nice apple crisps.  These aren't done yet so I took a pic from in the oven.  These make a great low calorie, healthy snack.

Granny Smith apples sliced 1/4 - 1/2 inch thick.  Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.  Either put them in a dehydrator or put them in the oven on a cookie sheet with parchment paper at 150 degrees for a couple of hours, flipping once in a while.

I got this apple recipe from another blog...check it out...she has lots of delicious recipes that are mostly vegan.  Oh She Glows

I just got off the phone with Emma (future daughter-in-law).  I found out two interesting pieces of information.  One....my 1 1/2 year old granddaughter dislocated her elbow last night.  Apparently, once the doctor popped it back into place, she was fine.  Yikes....I probably would have cried with her while the doctor fixed it.  Two....Zach and Emma are going to go shark diving on Tuesday.   They are very excited....me...not so excited.  I know they will be in a cage and people do it all the time....but I will just hold my breath until they are back on the boat safe and sound.  :-)  I will get them to send me some pics to post after their adventure.

Next post topic - Trying out my new sewing macine.

Til then....Kathi

Side Bar Blog

I mentioned in the last blog that my next topic would be "Why I'm not creative".  I'm going to save this for next time as I would like to respond to some comments that were made on my last blog.  For those new to blog posts, if you scroll down to the bottom of my last post, you will see a place that says comments.  If you click on that, you can read the comments that were posted and/or post one of your own.  This comment button is on the bottom of each post.

If any of you have seen the movie "Julie and Julia", you may remember the scene where she is at work shortly after she has started blogging and all of a sudden yells out to her friend that someone has left her her first comment.  That is exactly how I felt this morning when I found that I had comments.  :-)

My #2 son was very sweet and commented on his mom's postings.  His comments, however, made me realize some interesting things about myself that I wanted to discuss.  He mentioned that he understood what I meant about feeling invisible or wanting to be invisible.  This made me start to wonder about the times I spent trying to be invisible to everyone that maybe I made those around me feel invisible too.  I'm not just talking about my family but my friends too.  The "practicing" Buddhist in me has spent most of the day trying to wrap my mind around this.  Since the first lesson we learn is that no one is a single entity.  We all are part of a whole and what any one person does affects the whole.

This made me feel a little melancholy today as I thought about this.  While I certainly would never want to make someone else feel like I don't see them, I never, never, never would want to make my sons think that they are invisible to me.  Nothing could ever be farther from the truth.....so let me attempt to make amends right now.  Please excuse my indulgence......

#1 Son - You are the son I always knew I would have from the time I understood I could have children one day.  You have filled my life with laughter, intelligence, kindness, baseball, loyalty and love.  You are everything and more than I could have ever wished for.  I honestly believe that you are further along on the enlightenment ladder than I am because you seem to have such a deep understanding of life.  I admire the quiet, generous, kind soul that you possess.  You are the most loyal and generous person I have ever met. I'm so lucky to have you in my life.

#2 Son - You were a little bit of surprise....I was sure I had the flu for the first couple of months....but low and behold....nine months later, I gave birth to a ray of sunshine.  You have brought happiness, common sense, good judgment and a spirit that lights up the world and everyone around you.  While I fly by the seat of my pants and make crazy spontaneous decisions, you have been the voice of reason...thank goodness.  It's funny to watch how people react to you.  Male or female just want to be near you and do things for you and just be in your presence.  I've never seen anything like it before.  You have also brought two beautiful girls into my life that I can not thank you enough for.  I love them both and am so happy to have them as part of the family circle.  Thank you for being you.


#3 Son - You were quite the surprise....I was sure it was just stress until one day I thought I felt a baby move.  I'm not sure why I lived in so much denial -).  Now I don't know what I would do without you.  You bring joy, fun, curiosity, baseball, marching band and a personality that has been wonderful to watch develop as you have grown up.  Everyone that meets you thinks you are "such a wonderful young man".  I can't count how many times I have been told that.  You are wonderful company to have around and even though we still have a few years to go before you go off to college (or a professional baseball career), I miss you already.  I thank my lucky stars everyday to have you here.

Ok....now that I got that said.....everyone needs to remember to be present.  Don't disappear....because when you leave...you also leave the good stuff behind and who knows what you are missing.  Nuff said....

Take care and have a great evening....

Next post (for sure) - Why I'm not creative.

How I Named My Blog

Okay...I made it through the first blog and truly appreciate the nice words of encouragement that I received.  It is really fun and really scary....liberating and scary....interesting and scary....I think you get the point.

It took me a while and a few tries to come up with a name for my blog.  Creating a Visible Life comes from a kind of dark place in my life....but I am hoping (and believe) that bringing it out in the open and confronting it, maybe..just maybe...I can change things.

It feels like I have spent most of my life being invisible, or feeling invisible, or wishing that I was invisible.  Does anyone else ever have those feelings?  I think we have all wished to be invisible at some point in our lives but have you ever really felt like you actually are invisible?  I remember times spent wondering why it felt like no one could see me when I was standing there screaming for help and everyone just passed by as if I wasn't there.  To be fair, I was usually only screaming on the inside but I find it hard to believe that I am such a talented actress that I have always been able to hide it.  Luckily, the screaming for help doesn't happen so much anymore (notice I didn't say it never happens) but the invisibility issue is still there and being dealt with every day.  As I develop future postings I will talk about this in more detail.

How do I begin to fix this?  How do I begin to "Create a Visible Life"?  Do you see where I am going with the title now?

Step #1 - stop living in a beige world.  I actually started this almost a year ago by painting my living room green.  I have to admit that this only happened because my dad and stepmother came down in December last year and noticed that I had paint samples on my wall.  Little did they know that they had been there quite a while because I couldn't make myself go any further.  Well...my dad saw a "project" and there was no stopping the steamroller....so I now have a green living room.  Thank goodness they pushed me to move forward..otherwise, I would still have just paint samples on my wall.  I haven't been brave enough to paint any other room, but I do plan to paint my bedroom and the entry hall by the end of the year.  I need you all to hold me to that.

These are pics of my living room.  I will also be trying to decorate a little more (and declutter) as I also tend to live without much adornment.  I will post updated pics as I go along.  Any and all suggestions are appreciated.

Step #2 - Quit dressing in neutrals...take a chance....live on the edge.  Interestingly, I do live on the edge.  I takes lots of risks and live a life of laughs and fun and excitement....but my mode of dress does not portray that.  So in the future, I will be buying a little flashier bling (fake bling of course) and lots of color and maybe even some patterns (that may be too much for me...but I will try).  I will also post pics as I make some strides in this direction.

I guess most of the issues I have with my style, both dress and environment, stem from not knowing myself well enough to have my own style identified.  I'm going to work on this.  I think this could be a long journey but what else is life for right???  Hold on tight...could be quite a ride!!


Enough psychoanalysis for today...this is exhausting but wow it's nice to get it out in the open.  Thanks for listening.

Please feel free to leave any comments/questions/help below in the comments section or I can be reached directly at creatingavisiblelife@gmail.com .

Next post - why I've never been creative...

Til then....Kathi

Who am I? Where am I?

Hi and Welcome to my very first blog posting.  My name is Kathi and I am a single mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an employee, a soon to be entrepreneur but these are just labels.  At the age of 48, I have come to realize that I have no idea of who I am beyond these labels.  I am starting this blog to keep track of my journey of self discovery.  Hopefully anyone reading along can chime in with suggestions or maybe just maybe, I can be of some help to anyone out there finding themselves in the same place.

I have 3 sons (ages 26, 23 and 15) and live in South Florida.  I also have a beautiful granddaughter (age 1 1/2) and a wonderful soon to be daughter-in-law.  In a couple of years I will be an empty-nester and am desperately trying to find a new direction for my life when that time comes.

I've been living in South Florida for 2 1/2 years now.  I love, love, love the weather in the winter and the fact that I can wear sandals everyday.  No snow to shovel or drive in (thank goodness, the drivers down here are bad enough without snow added to the mix).  I miss the idea of winter.  I miss sweaters and boots and winter coats.  I miss waking up in the morning to freshly fallen snow covering everything....only if I have the day off though.  Other than that....I love warm weather, year round foliage and palm trees.

I want to send out kudos to two blogs and a beautiful shop that have been inspirational to me and have helped me get in the right state of mind to get this journey started.

Kimberly Wilson - Tranquility du Jour - inspirational podcasts, fabulous blog, two wonderfully written books, a fanstastic, sustainable clothing line.....all to help live a Hip, Tranquil life.

A Guide to Living a Goddess Life - a beautifully illustrated blog and lots of incredible material

My Flora Aura - for anyone in South Florida, a unique shop and spiritual center located in Boca Raton and owned by the lovely Jolie.  Lots of great classes and tasty organic tea to be shared.  Check it out if you live down here.

So we are on our way....hold on tight....let's share lots of laughter, a few tears and all the good, kind thoughts we can come up with. 

Next post....How I Came Up With the Blog Name.

Til next time.....Kathi